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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Trending via WeChat:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Making waves on Messenger:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Going bananas on X:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Cart collector in training 🛒😂 Just call me the window shopping champion! 🏆✨

behavior, buying, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, humor, indecision, never, online, online shopping, procrastination, retail, retail therapy, shopping, therapy, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

2 months ago
age, always, fast, humor, i, life, old, realization, surprise, time
Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

1 month ago
cooking, creativity, figure, first person, historical, historical figure, humor, imagination, organization, person, recipe
And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

1 month ago
degree, education, exactly, humor, mr., Mr. Pepper, pepper, questioning, where
Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

1 month ago
avoid, elevator, fear, frighten, humor, i, joke, me, pun, steps, take
Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

1 month ago
consequences, dark, dark humor, everyone, expectation, happiness, happy, humor, irony, push, stairs
“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

2 months ago
al, am, avoid, baby, caffeine, forefather, full, i, nicotine, night, paper, procrastination

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Spotted on YouTube:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Going viral on X:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Just shared via Discord:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Being weird never goes out of style.

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

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My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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