Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,983

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Making waves on Facebook:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Trending via Telegram:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Just shared via Threads:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When multitasking becomes an Olympic sport, I'm ready 😂📺📱

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

15 shares on Discord this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

34 shares on X this month:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would cut you off.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Making waves on X:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴