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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Trending via Slack:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Making waves on Facebook:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

3 weeks ago

Hilarious quote about using lotion on coworker Deborah to soothe irritation, playful and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"

awkward, awkward situation, blunder, bottle, co-worker, coworker, humor, i, irritation, miscommunication, office, office humor, over, personal, personal space, prank, situation, space

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

95 shares on Messenger this month:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

93 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

36 shares on X this month:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

70 shares on Discord this month:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

84 shares on X this month:

The older I get, no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Breaking via YouTube:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Just landed via Instagram:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Just landed via TikTok:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Just landed via Discord:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Making waves on Twitch:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Going viral on Twitch:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨