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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Just landed via Discord:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Trending via Twitch:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Seen just now on X:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"

awkward, awkward situation, blunder, bottle, co-worker, coworker, humor, i, irritation, miscommunication, office, office humor, over, personal, personal space, prank, situation, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, Kanye, mean, name, personality, pretty, someone, yay
All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

0

2 months ago

best, childhood, dad, family, fun, humor, memory, mischievous, mom, parenting, prank, secret, start, tell
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

0

2 months ago

always, concern, cycle, friends, humor, i, media, mood, over, relationship, social, social media, tell, Tweets
We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, nostalgia, people, pirate, plank, tradition, used, walk
That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

0

2 months ago

building, depressing, disappointment, humor, irony, moment, pull, sarcasm, work
Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

0

5 months ago

actually, benefit, humor, i, imposter, imposter syndrome, job, jobs, little, observation, people, self-doubt, sometimes, syndrome, watch, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Spotted on Discord:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Trending via Reddit:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Spotted on Reddit:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Going viral on Slack:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨