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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Just landed via X:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Just landed via Snapchat:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about quietness and honesty, with a humorous twist on social silence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm fluent in the language of thoughtful silence! 🤐😂

advice, always, anything, communication, conversation, conversationalist, humor, me, mother, much, nice, nothing, say, silence, told, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

1 week ago

ask, fun, humor, humor quote, irony, joke, manifestation, next, positive, positive thinking, post, prediction, thinking, under, universe, week, whatever, wish
Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

2 weeks ago

book, enough, guy, humor, irony, notes, observation, reading, saw, words, writing
My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

2 weeks ago

am, boss, employees, humor, i, idea, incompetent, irony, job, management, me, obvious, pretty, train, wants, workplace
Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

2 weeks ago

experience, humor, me, millennium, second, time, trust, wit
To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

3 weeks ago

animal, cat, Catfrica, cats, eat, humor, hungry, i, joke, pet, tell
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

3 weeks ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Just shared via X:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Going viral on TikTok:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Broadcasted on X:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Shared recently on X:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Spotted on Facebook:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Going viral on Instagram:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨