Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Time to dust off my badge and go undercover as the neighborhood's top detective. Reporting live from Party-Proof Headquarters! 🚓🎉🔍 #UninvitedVibes"

again, call, cops, dispute, guess, having, humor, i, invitation, invite, kind, me, neighbor, neighborly, neighborly dispute, party, rejection, sarcasm, social, social rejection

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

30 shares on X this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Breaking via Discord:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Just shared via Slack:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Just shared via Twitch:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Just shared via Reddit:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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