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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,832

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Just landed via Reddit:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Going viral on Threads:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Binging shows like it's an Olympic sport, then feeling like I've hit a TV timeout! 🎬🏆📺😢

binge, binge-watching, entertainment, fast, getting, habit, i, nothing, sad, sadness, sery, show, too, toxic, toxic trait, trait, TV, TV sery, watch, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

1 month ago
burning, cd, day, even, last, last time, memory, nostalgia, outdated, realization, realize, technology, time
I hope my email finds you enraged.

1 month ago
anger, communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, sarcasm
The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

1 month ago
am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

1 month ago
after, death, dust, email, existential, humor, life, mortality, remember, reminder, return, send
I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

2 months ago
alcohol, brain, brain cell, cell, cells, day, disappointment, drinking, expectation, found, humor, i, irony, kill, party, political, political party
The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

2 months ago
chocolate, comedy, food, humor, people, real, vegetable

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Going viral on Threads:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Just landed via Messenger:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Trending via Discord:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

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Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

I hope my email finds you enraged.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

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My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

I hope my email finds you enraged.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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