Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Just shared via Twitch:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Making waves on Telegram:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Just shared via Messenger:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Binging shows like it's an Olympic sport, then feeling like I've hit a TV timeout! 🎬🏆📺😢

binge, binge-watching, entertainment, fast, getting, habit, i, nothing, sad, sadness, sery, show, too, toxic, toxic trait, trait, TV, TV sery, watch, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

0

2 months ago

alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where
They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

0

2 months ago

humor, invention, irony, language, metallic, taken, wit, word, word invention
You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

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2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, husband, know, knows, marriage, marriage advice, mastery, relationship, shout, take, thing, understanding
When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

0

2 months ago

commentary, hate, humor, island, link, Love Island, me, sarcasm, social, social commentary, somebody
“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

0

2 months ago

change, days, fashion, humor, i, outfit, pushing, same, thought
A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

0

2 months ago

butter, comfort, comfort food, fix, food, humor, jar, me, peanut, peanut butter, snack, spoonful

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Trending via Slack:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Just shared via Messenger:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Going viral on Instagram:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Going bananas on Slack:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Live now on Messenger:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Live now on Snapchat:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨