Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Just landed via WeChat:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Spotted on Telegram:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Breaking via YouTube:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you've got that winning combo of smiles and unhinged DMs 🚶😬💬 Let the games begin! #LoveInRealLife"

activity, apps, around, communication, dating, DM, fun, going, just, people, send, smile, social, unhinged, walk, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

0

2 months ago

bedtime, double, double entendre, entendre, humor, i, joke, know, language, language joke, linguistics, need, sleep, talking, wordplay
We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

0

2 months ago

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, daily, daily life, humor, life, me, night, relatable, sleep, wait, waking, waking up
Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

0

2 months ago

brush, daily, daily routine, face, forget, hair, humor, hygiene, media, posts, routine, self-care, share, sharing, social, social media, teeth
Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

0

2 months ago

abandonment, due, health, humor, irony, issues, mental, mental health, self-awareness, yes
I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, cheese, craving, food, humor, i, mozzarella, snack, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

28 shares on Messenger this month:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Going viral on TikTok:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Going viral on Slack:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Spotted on Slack:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Trending via Facebook:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨