Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,975

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Live now on Snapchat:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Spotted on Threads:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Making waves on Threads:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Going viral on Telegram:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Spotted on Instagram:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Making waves on Threads:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did I become Bruh instead of Dad? Guess I'm off to study Gen Z lingo now! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️📚

book, books, bruh, calling, family, humor, kid, kids, language, none, parenting, say, slang, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

First responders? You mean reply guys?

0

2 months ago

comedy, first responder, guy, guys, humor, interaction, mean, media, online, online interaction, reply, reply guy, responder, sarcasm, social, social media
I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

0

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, catchphrase, holy, holy moly, humor, me, moly, nobody, nostalgia, stop
Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

0

2 months ago

address, communication, email, email address, flirt, humor, identity, internet, line, online, online identity, pickup, pickup line, username
Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

0

3 weeks ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, better, future, humor, ladybug, mutant, mutant ladybug, over, robot, robots, sci-fi, takeover
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

0

5 months ago

brushing, brushing teeth, confidence, ever, falls, hottest, humor, i, moment, much, personal, personal moment, self, self-confidence, situation, teeth, tree, tree falls in the woods, underwear, woods
Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, confidence, disregard, ego, humor, most, peasant, peasants, people, pride, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

68 shares on X this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Trending via TikTok:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Live now on Threads:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Making waves on Facebook:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Just landed via Reddit:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

First responders? You mean reply guys?

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨