Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Just landed via Telegram:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Spotted on TikTok:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Making waves on Messenger:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Going bananas on Twitch:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Live now on WeChat:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Going viral on Threads:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Going viral on X:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did I become Bruh instead of Dad? Guess I'm off to study Gen Z lingo now! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️📚

book, books, bruh, calling, family, humor, kid, kids, language, none, parenting, say, slang, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

0

5 months ago

acceptable, angry, ball, choose, everyone, fast, fast internet, gone, hot, humor, i, internet, night, nocturnal, norms, quiet, shut, silence, sky, social, social norms, socially, sun, understand, why
Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

0

2 months ago

addiction, divorce, divorce joke, focus, humor, joke, marriage, porn, porn addiction, relationship, wife
Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

0

2 weeks ago

brag, child, children, communication, everything, humor, i, irony, knowledge, parenting, today, told
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

0

2 months ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

0

2 months ago

awake, course, daily, daily life, exhaustion, hard, humor, i, irony, life, pretending, sarcasm, tired
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

99 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Going viral on Reddit:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Shared recently on X:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Shared recently on WeChat:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Going viral on Discord:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Just landed via YouTube:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨