Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,990

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Just landed via TikTok:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did I become Bruh instead of Dad? Guess I'm off to study Gen Z lingo now! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️📚

book, books, bruh, calling, family, humor, kid, kids, language, none, parenting, say, slang, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

0

5 months ago

2, accidental, accidentally, humor, nature, secret, secrets, squirrel, supernatural, tree, wisdom
Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

0

6 days ago

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole
USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

0

4 months ago

1, 2, step, think, tracking
“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

0

2 months ago

declaration, humor, likes, love, media, relationship, social, social media, story
Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

0

4 months ago

court, fake, Fake sport, Funny quote, humor, Lorde, music, notice, pickleball, Pickleball Court, pushing, song, sport, tennis, Tennis Court, tired
Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chef, compliment, compliments, fart, funny situation, humor, i, joke, just, moment, panic, situation, someone, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

99 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

100 shares on X this month:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Broadcasted on X:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Spotted on Telegram:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Spotted on Snapchat:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Live now on Twitch:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨