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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Live now on WeChat:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Trending via TikTok:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Making waves on Reddit:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Just shared via Messenger:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

2 months ago

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When did I become Bruh instead of Dad? Guess I'm off to study Gen Z lingo now! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️📚

book, books, bruh, calling, family, humor, kid, kids, language, none, parenting, say, slang, start

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47 shares on Messenger this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Going viral on Slack:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Trending via Snapchat:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Seen just now on X:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Just landed via Threads:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Just shared via Reddit:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

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Activity Log ✨

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Keep the laugh going 😂

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨