Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Trending via Threads:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Breaking via TikTok:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Plot twist: I'm only in it for the pine-scented real estate! 🌲🤑🙌

Christmas, Christmas tree farm, digger, farm, flirting, fly, gold, gold digger, grandpa, hand, hand rubbing, hands, humor, me, night, rubbing, shit, told, tree, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

0

3 months ago

boy, boys, daughter, easier, family, humor, parent, parents, ruin, save, saving, stereotype
“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, future, humor, intelligence, joke, machines, ok, people, robots, smart, soon, tech, tech humor, technology
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

0

2 months ago

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world
“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

0

2 months ago

athlete, attempt, begin, comedy, couch, fitness, humor, i, laziness, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-motivation, third, whisper
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

0

2 months ago

appearance, diarrhea, good, humor, magical, people, photo, photogenic, photography, pic, picture, still
Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

0

2 months ago

age, chicken, discomfort, every, hip, hours, humor, hurts, lay, minutes, position, remember, rotation, rotisserie, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

13 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

69 shares on X this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

25 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Shared recently on Slack:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Trending via Telegram:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Making waves on TikTok:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Live now on Discord:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Live now on Twitch:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨