Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Making waves on Messenger:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

what doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Going viral on YouTube:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, someone who understands my texting style! 😂📵✨

amazing, back, communication, connection, dating, day, humor, just, meet, misunderstanding, person, relationship, text, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

0

2 months ago

came, decision, delivery, eats, finish, food, food delivery, forget, forgot, humor, i, just, notification, order, realization, senses, Uber
New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

0

5 months ago

2, act, acting, character, cinephile, humor, main, main character, method, method watching, months, movie, new, talk, talking, technique, watch, watching
You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

0

2 months ago

advice, always, dangerous, dangerous thing, doing, helmet, humor, politics, safety, should, talking, thing, things, wear
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

0

2 months ago

death, humor, life, peace, peaceful, philosophy, pleasant, transition, trouble
My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

0

2 months ago

dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank
It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

0

2 months ago

dysfunction, erectile, erectile dysfunction, hard, having, humor, intimacy, relationship, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

53 shares on X this month:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

46 shares on Slack this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Going viral on YouTube:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Being awake is the worst.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨