I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it. Posted onMay 29, 2026
You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.” Posted onMay 29, 2026
I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time. Posted onMay 29, 2026
“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.” Posted onMay 29, 2026
Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’ Posted onMay 29, 2026
Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited. Posted onMay 29, 2026
When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT. Posted onMay 29, 2026
If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own? Posted onMay 29, 2026