Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Going viral on Telegram:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Spotted on TikTok:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Trending via WeChat:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Seen just now on X:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Trending via WeChat:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Live now on Discord:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just landed via Instagram:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living that luxury lifestyle where my couch and stovetop become my guest rooms! 🛋️🍳🏰

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, blue, blue eye, clumsiness, even, eye, eyes, first impression, gaze, humor, i, impression, just, meeting, moment, never, pale, tell, toe
What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

0

2 months ago

boy, favorite, funky, funky music, music, playing, song, white, white boy
Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

0

2 months ago

breakup, ex, humor, jealousy, love, relationship, sarcasm, thinking
I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal personality, dogs, dominance, humor, i, personality, pet, pet humor, subwoofer
I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

0

2 months ago

chaos, humor, i, mess, physics, quantum, science, wit
It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

0

2 months ago

always, entertainment, fun, honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, listening, truth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

93 shares on X this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

36 shares on Threads this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Avocado is just green butter.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

62 shares on Discord this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Breaking via Twitch:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Just landed via Reddit:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Making waves on Twitch:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Spotted on Threads:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Trending via YouTube:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨