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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Breaking via YouTube:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Just landed via Telegram:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's got a serious case of "paws-itively" no rhythm! 🐾🕺😹

cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I run a parody bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, comedy, finance, humor, i, media, parody, run, satire, social, social media
I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

0

2 months ago

age, childhood, humor, i, nostalgia, sandwich, simplicity, square, thing, triangle, world
I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

0

5 months ago

band, Band of Brothers, brothers, depression, humor, i, male, male depression, nostalgia, rewatch, stage, television
Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

0

2 months ago

big, boy, boys, buy, girl, girls, humor, i, iPhone, max, never, only, phone, phones, pro, Pro Max, size, stereotype, swear, technology, why
The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

0

2 months ago

28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie
If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, funny idea, giant, giant house, house, humor, idea, keys, own, ownership, people, perception, social, social behavior, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Threads this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Live now on Slack:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Spotted on WeChat:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Making waves on YouTube:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Live now on Facebook:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I run a parody bank account.

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨