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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,810

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Going viral on TikTok:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Spotted on Telegram:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's got a serious case of "paws-itively" no rhythm! 🐾🕺😹

cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

1 month ago
animals, birds, chaos, going, humor, love, morning, thing, why
Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

1 month ago
assurance, disappointment, dream, expectation, here, humor, i, just, life, living, me, never, reality, right, sarcasm, shit, somebody, told
For whom the doom scrolls!

1 month ago
doom, humor, internet, irony, media, procrastination, reading, scroll, social, social media
Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

1 month ago
dialogue, fun, humor, hurt, life, me, much, nurse, pain, sarcasm
Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

1 month ago
everything, existence, humor, irony, leave, life, nothing, perspective, strange, struggle, world
I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

1 month ago
before, daily, daily life, embarrassment, humor, humorous, humorous reflection, i, learn, left, lesson, life, life lesson, memoir, never, procrastination, reflection, should, things

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Shared recently on Threads:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Trending via Slack:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Spotted on Telegram:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Breaking via Threads:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Breaking via Threads:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

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Activity Log ✨

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

He took my last fry, your honor.

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

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Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

For whom the doom scrolls!

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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