Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Trending via Telegram:

Overthinkaholic!

Freshly posted on Threads:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Trending via Messenger:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Shared recently on Discord:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Trending via X:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😴✌️ "May your middle finger rest well for a full day's work tomorrow! It's hard being a hand star! 😆💪"

ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, loss, memory, password, passwords, protection, security, short, technology, term
Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, confidence, humor, i, insult, know, me, self-awareness, ugly
The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

0

4 months ago

abbreviation, b, brand, brand name, care, dental, dental care, Funny, humor, me, name, oral, Oral B, question, stand, toothpaste, WTF
Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

0

2 months ago

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet
Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing
Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

0

2 months ago

anti-social, bed, day, everyone, humor, just, lie, naked, relaxation, self-care, self-indulgence, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

33 shares on Facebook this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Just shared via X:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Trending via Facebook:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Going viral on Messenger:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨