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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,881

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Live now on Pinterest:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Making waves on Twitch:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'm just the weird echo chamber 😂🔄 #InGoodCompany"

acting, apology, behavior, being, humor, i, interaction, just, mirror, people, playful, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, weird, weirdness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

1 month ago
after, day, food, goodbye, great, humor, i, kid, kids, lunch, orange, parenting, school, tell
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

1 month ago
cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey
That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

1 month ago
after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave
Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

1 month ago
career, career change, change, experience, humor, i, interviewer, job, job search, learn, me, need, new, new job, previous, search, work, work experience
It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

1 month ago
after, awkward, awkward moment, back, comeback, failure, five, funny situation, hard, high, high five, humor, interaction, moment, poorly, situation, social, social interaction
Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

1 month ago
cool, everyday, fun, having, humor, job, routine, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Trending via Threads:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Shared recently on Threads:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Trending via TikTok:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

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Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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