Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,086

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Going viral on YouTube:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Going viral on Messenger:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Going viral on WeChat:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My brain's a circus and all the clowns want airtime 🤡🎪🎉

apology, being, confusion, conversation, every, everything, explode, explosion, humor, i, just, me, multitalk, same, sorry, talk, thing, time, try, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

0

2 months ago

card, convenience, getting, getting up, humor, online, online shopping, procrastination, shopping, wallet, worst, worst part
My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

0

2 months ago

80s, activity, fun, fun activity, humor, nostalgia, plan, plans, retirement, time, time travel, travel
You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

0

2 months ago

better, communication, concern, home, humor, injured, know, let, me, pissed, safely
If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want
If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

0

2 months ago

face, humor, i, outlaw, poster, unwanted, west, wild, Wild West
Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

0

2 months ago

guys, humor, identity, moth, names, nickname, Tim, Timothy, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Spotted on YouTube:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Just shared via Threads:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨