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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,748

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Just shared via Messenger:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Live now on TikTok:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Spotted on YouTube:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Shared recently on Discord:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing like a morning jog to remind me why I prefer pancakes! 🏃‍♂️🥞😅"

attitude, challenge, day, early, fitness, great, humor, humor in fitness, morning, morning routine, morning run, motivation, positive, positive attitude, routine, run, start, start of day, starting, sure, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, dieting, feels, fitness, good, health, humor, image, loss, motivation, nothing, self-esteem, skinny, weight, weight loss
It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

0

2 months ago

communication, expressions, frustration, hell, humor, irony, office, problem, professionalism, sarcasm, work
I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish
I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

0

2 months ago

done, exercise, food, humor, i, least, microwave, step, steps, waiting
Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

0

2 months ago

another, chilling, comedy, entertainment, guess, humor, increase, Netflix, only, price, price increase, streaming, subscription
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

51 shares on X this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

91 shares on Threads this month:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨