Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Shared recently on X:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Live now on Facebook:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Shared recently on Threads:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Patiently waiting for aliens to realize they totally ghosted me 🚀👽👗

abduct, abduction, alien, aliens, dressed, extraterrestrial, feels, humor, joke, me, pretty, readiness, ready, rude, sarcasm, still, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, chin, cowgirl, double, double chin, funny situation, humor, image, joke, physical, physical humor, playful, reverse, sexual, sexual humor, situation
I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, errands, going, humor, just, means, routine, running, weekend, where
Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking
Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

0

2 months ago

activity, car, cool, free, fun, fun activity, humor, loud, relief, self-care, singing, stress, stress relief, therapy
Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

0

2 months ago

advice, another, communication, family, humor, life, parent, parents, problem, problems, telling
I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bring, domestic, home, household, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, relationship, shopping, stuff, unnecessary, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

58 shares on Slack this month:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Live now on Telegram:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Trending via WeChat:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Shared recently on Discord:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Trending via Discord:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Just landed via Instagram:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨