Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Making waves on WeChat:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Just landed via Twitch:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Trending via Telegram:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reverse time travel to dodge those 'Oops!' moments. 😂⏳🙅‍♂️

back, chance, give, humor, i, love, me, meeting, met, never, night, regret, relationship, sarcasm, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

0

2 months ago

comfort, ever, hear, humor, i, most, motivation, procrastination, starting, student, words
Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, management, meeting, meetings, minutes, office, productivity, time, time management, workplace, wrapped, year
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

0

2 months ago

accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

0

2 months ago

anything, ballistic, chaos, going, humor, need, request
Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

0

4 months ago

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship
I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

0

5 months ago

always, bed, bed potato, chair, chair potato, couch, couch potato, humor, later, laziness, potato, relaxation, right

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Live now on Slack:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Making waves on WeChat:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Seen just now on Messenger:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨