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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Going viral on Instagram:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Spotted on Telegram:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Just shared via Telegram:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Reported on Reddit:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Seen just now on X:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Jan 21, 2025

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like that pen in the junk drawer decided to rise from its slumber like a grumpy old dragon guarding its treasure! 🐉✒️ Watch out, folks, we've got a feisty pen on the loose! Shepherd it back into the writing world with a bit of humor and a dash of ink therapy! 🖊️😅

attitude, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, moments, office, office supply, pen, picked, procrastination, random, random moments, supply, today, unexpected, used, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Spotted on Slack:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Breaking via Slack:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

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