Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Going viral on Telegram:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Breaking via Discord:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Breaking via Instagram:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Trending via Twitch:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I should have said 'Thanks, I'll try!' 😂🛒✨"

cashier, customer, customer service, day, good, good day, honesty, humor, insincerity, mean, retail, said, sarcasm, service

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

0

2 months ago

allergy, cat, humor, meowlergy, pets, pun, wordplay
Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

0

1 week ago

eyes, gift, gifts, humor, morning, surprise
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

0

2 months ago

accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, amazing, book, books, classic, classic book, creativity, funny observation, humor, literature, observation, penguin, think, writing
If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

0

2 months ago

advice, alert, caution, humor, kings, planet, relationship, remember, stay, stay alert, world
Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

0

3 months ago

apology, behavior, distraction, happening, humor, i, multiple, multitasking, noise, noises, same, sorry, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Just landed via X:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Seen just now on Threads:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Making waves on X:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨