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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,962

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Imagine being social on social media.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Seen just now on X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Trending via Threads:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Just shared via Messenger:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it adorable how one hand just decided it's the sidekick instead of the superhero? 😂✋🦸‍♂️"

autonomy, behavior, bodily, bodily autonomy, concept, dominance, everyday, everyday humor, hand, hand dominance, hands, helping, hilarious, human, human behavior, humor, just, me, observation, personality, personality traits, playful, playful observation, traits

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

0

2 months ago

duality, humor, inner, inner struggle, inside, joke, landlord, me, struggle, tell, wolf
Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, expectation, frustration, getting, humor, mad, mystery, show, solve, suspense, TV, TV Show, unsolved, Unsolved Mystery, watching
When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

0

2 months ago

back, confusion, directions, giving, humor, i, irony, just, lost, love, me, miscommunication, miss, navigation, someone, tell, travel, wrong
My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

0

4 months ago

early, early morning, favorite, favorite thing, favourite, morning, morning routine, ridiculous, routine, sleep, solitude, thing, waking, waking up
Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

0

2 months ago

ears, expectations, humor, husband, joke, marriage, me, nobody, separately, sold, told
Thaw me like one of your french fries!

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, joke, me, playfulness, pun, romance, thaw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

11 shares on X this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Going viral on Twitch:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Live now on Slack:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Breaking via Messenger:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Making waves on YouTube:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Seen just now on X:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨