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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Live now on Reddit:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Just landed via Instagram:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the snooze button and I have a toxic relationship. 🛌⏰😂"

asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

0

5 months ago

desire, expensive, expensive thing, materialism, problem, temptation, thing, things, want
Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

0

2 months ago

activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart
I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

0

2 months ago

comparison, efficiency, frustration, Google, humor, i, less, myself, personality, self, someone, something, watching
Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

0

2 months ago

afford, budget, cave, gazebro, home, humor, man, man cave, outdoor, outdoor space, relaxation, space
Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, event, everyone, fact, fun, fun fact, gangster, humor, icebreaker, moment, reveal, self-disclosure, work, work event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

15 shares on X this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Going bananas on Discord:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Going viral on Instagram:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Seen just now on Slack:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨