The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.