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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

18 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Just landed via X:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Seen just now on Threads:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just landed via Reddit:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Trending via Slack:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Making waves on Reddit:

Coffee is just goth water.

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

6 months ago

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

18 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Spotted on Discord:

The future is buffering.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Just landed via Twitch:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Trending via Facebook:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Making waves on Slack:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

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