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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect β€˜before’ picture.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has shared:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has viewed:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has shared:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Just shared via Discord:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Just landed via X:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Just landed via TikTok:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Seen just now on Slack:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Just shared via Facebook:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Humorous quote about finances and phone life, highlighting playful financial frustration.
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Commentary:
When my phone and my bank account are in a race to see who hits zero first πŸ˜‚πŸ“±πŸ’Έ

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Reddit this month:

My love language is deader than Latin.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Happiness is an inside job.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My friend says to me, β€œWhat rhymes with orange?” And I told him, β€œNo, it doesn’t.”

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, β€œI’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, β€˜Something went wrong’.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has downloaded:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has downloaded:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Twitch:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Trending via Reddit:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Trending via Messenger:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

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