Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Just landed via Threads:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Just shared via YouTube:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Making waves on Instagram:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Spotted on Facebook:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Making waves on Slack:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

0

2 months ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, finance, fun, good, hate, having, humor, i, money, regret, spending, time
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise
I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

0

2 months ago

blind, hear, hearing, i, illegal, interest, someone
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles
I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

0

2 months ago

compliment, humor, i, playful, relationship, sarcasm, something, teasing, think, wit, wrong
After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

0

2 months ago

after, fresh, hatred, humor, i, job, reenergized, return, vacation, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

79 shares on X this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Just shared via Messenger:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Trending via TikTok:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Spotted on Slack:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨