Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Making waves on TikTok:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Breaking via Reddit:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Making waves on Instagram:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Breaking via TikTok:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Going viral on Discord:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just shared via Telegram:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

0

6 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood
How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, 3, ago, bed, bedtime, clean, cleaning, corner, distraction, five, hours, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, procrastination, room, six, something, stare, start, vintage
I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

0

2 months ago

expectations, food, humor, i, individuality, me, never, person, self-acceptance, serving, serving size, size, suggestion, wants
I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

0

2 months ago

affection, awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, humor, i, love, matter, relationship, shower, situation, surprise, trying
I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

0

5 months ago

academic, academic validation, advice, getting, hobby, humor, i, life, life advice, love, recommend, recommendation, romantic, romantic love, validation
I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

94 shares on TikTok this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Spotted on TikTok:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Making waves on Discord:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Going viral on X:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Spotted on YouTube:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Breaking via X:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Making waves on TikTok:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨