Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Spreading quickly via X:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Spotted on Facebook:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Making waves on Facebook:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂"

50, 50s, after, age, age humor, aging, forget, forgetting, humor, i, joke, just, know, lapse, me, memory, memory lapse, middle, middle age, over, stuff

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

0

2 months ago

family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hour, humor, i, know, love, me, patience, technology, texting, texts
My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

0

2 months ago

early, exercising, fitness, going, humor, husband, looking, need, new, new husband, relationship, shape, start, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up
I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

0

2 months ago

am, around, attitude, being, childlike, childlike wonder, General, giggle, hate, humor, i, mistake, naivety, people, personality, simply, war, war general, weakness, wonder
As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

0

2 months ago

curse, humor, i, interest, last, sarcasm
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

0

2 months ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words
I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

0

2 months ago

away, bunny, flew, glasses, humor, i, meadow, need, observation, saying, today, vision

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Trending via YouTube:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Just landed via Facebook:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Live now on Instagram:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Live now on Facebook:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Making waves on Reddit:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Seen just now on X:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Just shared via WeChat:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Just shared via Facebook:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨