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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

40 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Live now on WeChat:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Trending via YouTube:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Going viral on Instagram:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Going viral on X:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Live now on TikTok:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Making waves on Instagram:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

3 months ago

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic third-wheel dilemma! 🚴‍♂️ Being the uninvited guest at the best friend’s brunch is like trying to enjoy popcorn in a firework show—sure, you're there, but you're definitely not the star. 🍿🔥 Sometimes, third wheeling feels more like being the awkward punctuation in a love story—necessary, but often misunderstood. 😅 Still, hey, at least you're getting a front-row seat to comedy at its finest! 🎬😂

awkwardness, best, couple, dating, friends, friendship, girls, humor, jealousy, much, situation, social, social situation, third, third wheel, wheel, worse

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

40 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Trending via X:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Just landed via Slack:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Just shared via TikTok:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

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