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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I be skipping everyoneโ€™s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

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This flight is so long, I donโ€™t know where Iโ€™m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

This flight is so long, I donโ€™t know where Iโ€™m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Commentary:
๐ŸŒโœˆ๏ธ Looks like I became a full-time resident of Airplane-ville. I just ordered a monogrammed seat cushion! ๐ŸŽ’๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ˜…

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