Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Just landed via Instagram:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Breaking via Messenger:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

2 months ago

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"Swapping TikTok for e-books like it's a digital spa day! 📱➡️📖 #PageTurnerPampering"

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20 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

32 shares on X this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

48 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Just landed via TikTok:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Seen just now on Discord:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Going viral on Discord:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

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Activity Log ✨

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Keep the laugh going 😂

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨