Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

57 shares on Threads this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

11 shares on Threads this month:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.