Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Live now on Threads:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Live now on Instagram:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Shared recently on Discord:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Live now on YouTube:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0
To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"So if you need me, you know where to find me… Just kidding, I'll be the one brooding under a desk fort until 5 PM! ⛺️🏔️🤣"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

18 shares on Instagram this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Just shared via X:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Breaking via Discord:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Making waves on YouTube:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴