Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Just shared via Threads:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Live now on Reddit:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Spotted on Facebook:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Trending via Pinterest:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Just shared via Snapchat:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂🔍 "When the only diagnosis is 'overthinking'!" 🩺😅

apology, costume, flirting, foreplay, humor, i, know, med, med school, nurse, nurse costume, play, role, role play, school, self-awareness, sorry, take, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss you (the money I spent).

0

2 months ago

financial, financial joke, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, money, spending, spent
I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, bills, humor, i, me, miss, nostalgia, nothing, responsibility
The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

0

2 months ago

afraid, balloon, bond, character, conductor, hat, humor, james, James Bond, movie, next, quirky, should, train, train conductor, weird
My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, new, new year, procrastinate, resolution, self-improvement, start, tomorrow, year
Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

0

2 months ago

boredom, caught, checking, dry, humor, i, loneliness, myself, phone, weather
Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

0

2 months ago

creativity, etch, Etch a Sketch, head, humor, mind, right, shaking, shaking my head, sketch, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on X this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What are cats even trying to do?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Making waves on Discord:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Breaking via Slack:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Spotted on Messenger:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Going viral on Messenger:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I miss you (the money I spent).

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨