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Commentary:
"Twitter: The Millennial's Diary 📖🔍 If you're snooping through tweets, you better buckle up for some unfiltered thoughts and a rollercoaster of emotions! 🎢😂 #TwitterDiaries #PrivacyPlease"

diary, even, going, humor, i, mad, media, post, privacy, reading, social, social media, stuff, things, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

0

2 months ago

adore, change, disappointment, disillusionment, hate, i, just, listening, music, musical, musical taste, personal, personal preference, preference, rapper, shift, taste, used
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

6 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

0

2 months ago

age, drinking, feeling, going, half, hangover, humor, math, middle-aged, morning, next, party, twice, waking
Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, new, people, show, start, sucks
For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, four, humor, management, movie, multitasking, next, time, time management, trick, watch, watching
Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, intelligence, irony, joke, question, questioning, sarcasm, stupid, stupid question, thing, told, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

61 shares on Discord this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

67 shares on Threads this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

97 shares on X this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Live now on TikTok:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Making waves on Reddit:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Spotted on YouTube:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Making waves on Pinterest:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Just landed via YouTube:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨