Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Just shared via YouTube:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Trending via Instagram:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going viral on Instagram:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Just shared via Messenger:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Spotted on Reddit:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spilling the tea for strangers has never been this high-tech 🍵🤳📓#DigitalDiary

choose, diary, expression, humor, i, just, media, personal, personal expression, show, social, social media, stranger, strangers, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cleaning, cockroach, domestic, domestic life, everything, humor, husband, kitchen, life, prank, relationship, thought, today, yesterday
Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

0

2 months ago

everything, existence, humor, irony, leave, life, nothing, perspective, strange, struggle, world
If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, just, problem, realize, sad, sadness, self-awareness, sing, voice, worse
Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

0

6 months ago

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together
It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, ears, head, humor, observation, pet, top
Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

0

2 months ago

advice, another, communication, family, humor, life, parent, parents, problem, problems, telling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

78 shares on X this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

10 shares on Slack this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Live now on Slack:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Shared recently on Instagram:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Seen just now on Discord:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Live now on Telegram:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨