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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Trending via Reddit:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Just landed via Telegram:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Just shared via Twitch:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Trending via YouTube:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Shared recently on X:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Seen just now on X:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spilling the tea for strangers has never been this high-tech 🍵🤳📓#DigitalDiary

choose, diary, expression, humor, i, just, media, personal, personal expression, show, social, social media, stranger, strangers, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

0

2 months ago

application, applying, communism, employment, guy, humor, job, job application, jobs, just, laziness, political, politics, satire, somewhere, wants
Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

0

3 months ago

definitely, empathy, expression, feel, feeling, humor, i, point, said
Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, humor, milestone, perception, teenager, welcome
Googling symptoms until you cry.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

0

2 months ago

conversation, denial, humor, i, introspection, myself, problem, self-reflection
Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

0

2 months ago

angel, arrogance, beautiful, being, confidence, ego, humor, humor quote, me, perfect, sarcasm, self-love, soul, vanity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

38 shares on X this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Fries, not lies.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

15 shares on Slack this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Just shared via WeChat:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Seen just now on Threads:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Spotted on Discord:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Going viral on Twitch:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Just landed via Instagram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨