Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Just landed via WeChat:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Milk or be milked.

Seen just now on X:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Just shared via WeChat:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Shared recently on Slack:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Witty quote highlighting social media humor and financial reality.
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Commentary:
If my bank account is a joke, I'm still waiting for the punchline 😂💸

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

97 shares on Slack this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Going viral on Slack:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Trending via Instagram:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Shared recently on Threads:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

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