Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Spotted on WeChat:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Trending via TikTok:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Spotted on Snapchat:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Breaking via Telegram:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Breaking via Threads:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you mashed potatoes, it locks the drawer for extra flavor! 🥔🔒😂

able, drawer, everyday, everyday life, frustration, fun, humor, keep, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, masher, obstacle, open, playful, playful obstacle, potato, potato masher, sometimes, tool

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

0

1 month ago

coffee, comfort, dollars, encouragement, hard, hard times, hug, humor, just, million, million dollars, support, thinking, times, want, wishful, wishful thinking
Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

0

1 month ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler
I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

0

2 months ago

activity, alert, bank, buying, finance, fruit, humor, i, irony, shopping, suspicious, text
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward conversation, bring, conversation, departure, dinner, early, early departure, everyone, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, hosting, humor, leave, politics, Thanksgiving
I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

0

3 months ago

break, conversation, disbelief, friend, friends, guys, hate, humor, husband, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, joke, just, real, relationship
Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

0

1 month ago

90s, 90s love, dating, generation, humor, looking, love, relationship, sick, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

91 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Going viral on Twitch:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨