Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Spotted on YouTube:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Trending via TikTok:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Breaking via Instagram:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Going viral on Instagram:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Live now on Reddit:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Going viral on Instagram:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Going viral on YouTube:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Totally agree! Could you imagine using fine wine for a water cooler refill? 🍷🚫🖇️

body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

0

2 months ago

humor, immigrant, irony, job, lazy, paradox, person, Schrodinger, stealing, too, work
Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

0

5 months ago

absolutely, behavior, empathy, everyone, interaction, irony, kindest, kindness, kindness paradox, mean, meanness, paradox, people, reason, social, social interaction, why
Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

0

2 months ago

attack, being, humor, karma, laugh, lesson, me, never, seagull, stranger
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

0

2 months ago

back, borrowing, city, debt, finance, having, humor, money, move, new, new city, pay, payback, relocation, worst
Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, fasting, humor, importance, important, people, self-care, social, sometimes, time
If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, persistence, significant, statistically, statistically significant, success, times, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

47 shares on Discord this month:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

26 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Shared recently on Threads:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Making waves on TikTok:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Going viral on WeChat:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Trending via Facebook:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Shared recently on X:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨