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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Trending via YouTube:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Shared recently on Threads:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just landed via Snapchat:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.
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Commentary:
That's one way to keep the meeting "snot" too boring! 😂💻👃

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sane is boring.

Making waves on Discord:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Going viral on YouTube:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Live now on Slack:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Reported on Reddit:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Spotted on Reddit:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Shared recently on X:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Just shared via X:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

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