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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Broadcasted on X:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Trending via TikTok:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Shared recently on Threads:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Just shared via WeChat:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Breaking via Threads:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've officially entered my 'lame music' era! Time to embrace the mom jeans and dad jokes 😂🎶🥸

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

0

2 months ago

again, humor, idiot, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, mistakes, repeat, same, self-awareness, situations, sometimes, still, universe
Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking
If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

0

2 months ago

fruit, humor, joke, let, let go, mango, need, pun, puns, relationship
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

3 weeks ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

0

2 months ago

adulting, always, challenges, humor, life, reality, responsibility, something, words
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

35 shares on Slack this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Just landed via Twitch:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Just landed via Reddit:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨