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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1742 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,904

Funny Quotes Topics

14,722

Funny Quotes Images

11,904

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Freshly posted on X:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Making waves on Reddit:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Live now on Slack:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Just landed via Slack:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spotted on Threads:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Broadcasted on Slack:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Spotted on X:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.
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Commentary:
Must be rough being this good-looking… beauty is such a blockable offense! 😎😂🔒

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1742 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,904

Funny Quotes Topics

14,722

Funny Quotes Images

11,904

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Trending via Instagram:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Just landed via Threads:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Spotted on WeChat:

I need a break from me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Live now on Pinterest:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via Slack:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

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