Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Live now on Snapchat:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Going viral on YouTube:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Going viral on Facebook:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about talkative people and being speechless, humorously highlighting endless chatter.

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Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆

always, communication, hope, humor, i, irony, mean, never, people, sarcasm, say, speechless, stop, talking, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

2 weeks ago

dessert, family, humor, indulgence, just, loneliness, looks, me, night, size, snack, Toblerone, tonight
I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

3 weeks ago

age, being, honesty, humor, just, mean, old, pretend, relationships, too
Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

2 weeks ago

bar, Binks, drinks, franchise, humor, opening, pub, pun, star, Star Wars, wars
I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

1 week ago

activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, fun, fun activity, humor, hunt, i, keys, late, me, myself, procrastination, punctuality, put, routine, same, spot, treasure, treasure hunt, why
Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

2 weeks ago

breaking, breaking news, check, confidence, humor, interesting, less, news, perspective, reality, reality check, self-perception, think
When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

1 week ago

always, call, call center, center, customer, customer service, expectation, hold, humor, i, on hold, phone, pick, service, someone, song, waiting

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

26 shares on Discord this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

82 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

53 shares on X this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

66 shares on Instagram this month:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Going viral on Snapchat:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Just shared via Facebook:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Live now on Telegram:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Trending via WeChat:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨