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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Gonna start using β€œwith all dude respect”.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted β€œsmoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is β€œcremation or burial”.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Threads:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Going viral on WeChat:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Just shared via Twitch:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Trending via Messenger:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Breaking via Slack:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Trending via TikTok:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Just shared via YouTube:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?
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Commentary:
Sounds like a full-time job with no benefits! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ #OverworkedAndUnderpaid

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

81 shares on X this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has downloaded:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has shared:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% β€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Facebook:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Just landed via Slack:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Going viral on TikTok:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Spotted on YouTube:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just landed via Telegram:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Just landed via TikTok:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Seen just now on Facebook:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

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