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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

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Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Shared recently on Discord:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Spotted on Threads:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Seen just now on Discord:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about how the internet and real life have swapped roles, playful and insightful.

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Commentary:
Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍

ago, couple, digital, digital life, escape, humor, internet, irony, life, media, modern, modern life, real, real world, social, social media, technology, today, world

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

31 shares on X this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

72 shares on Slack this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Running from your problems is cardio.

16 shares on X this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Breaking via Telegram:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Going viral on YouTube:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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