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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Spotted on Discord:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Spotted on Discord:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Trending via Facebook:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Seen just now on Slack:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍

ago, couple, digital, digital life, escape, humor, internet, irony, life, media, modern, modern life, real, real world, social, social media, technology, today, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

0

2 months ago

advice, around, friendship, go around it, going, going through it, homie, humor, i, just, said, through, told
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

0

2 months ago

camera, diet, driving, fasting, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, joke, speed, speed camera, traffic
“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

0

2 months ago

advice, cream, dinner, freedom, fun, ice, ice cream, indulgence, nobody, self, stop, tell, younger, younger self
It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, alone, drinking, humor, office, social, work
I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

0

2 months ago

better, cereal, explain, food, humor, i, morning, night, preference, snack, taste
Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

0

5 months ago

circumcision, due, funny phrase, humor, joke, phrase, pun, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

41 shares on Threads this month:

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

21 shares on Discord this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

78 shares on X this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

19 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Spotted on TikTok:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Making waves on X:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Just shared via X:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Going viral on Slack:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨