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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Going viral on WeChat:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Just landed via Telegram:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When Creative Finance 101 meets Hustler's Academy 🎨💼💸😆

9-5, 95, advice, fraud, gone, humor, hustle, job, life, life advice, little, only, side, survival, survive, work, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

2 months ago
back, connection, happiness, i, interaction, love, me, moment, nice, smile, stranger, strangers
All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

1 month ago
bus, except, getting, humor, pointless, pointlessness, stop, transportation, travel
For Halloween, I will be okay.

2 months ago
Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

1 month ago
coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home
Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

1 month ago
around, bed, break, daydreaming, humor, locket, longing, lunch, lunch break, neck, picture, procrastination, staring
You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

1 month ago
absurdity, activity, crystal, humor, joke, playful, put, sock, start, swinging, unconventional, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Spotted on Facebook:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Just landed via Instagram:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Just landed via Facebook:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

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Activity Log ✨

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

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A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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