Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Live now on Slack:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Spotted on Slack:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Going bananas on Slack:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Going bananas on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Breaking via Facebook:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Going viral on Facebook:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Flying: the only time when sitting in a metal tube at 36,000 feet makes you crave a drink you'd never buy on the ground! ✈️🤷‍♂️🍅

air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

0

5 months ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill
Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, living, office, reality, simulation, technology, today, virtual, work
Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

0

2 months ago

20s, adult, being, crazy, dating, humor, incompatibility, life, love, love life, reflection, relationship, someone, stay, twenty, why, young, young adult
Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort zone, communication, everyone, extrovert, force, humor, interaction, introvert, leave, personality, shut, silence, social, social interaction, while, why, zone
Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

0

2 months ago

follow, humor, Instagram, irony, me, media, nothing, post, social, social media, want, weeks
On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

0

2 months ago

access, balance, conflict, hand, humor, internet, irony, technology, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

19 shares on X this month:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Live now on Pinterest:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Just shared via X:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Going viral on WeChat:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Trending via Telegram:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Live now on Facebook:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨