Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Live now on Messenger:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Spotted on Instagram:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Trending via Instagram:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Making waves on Twitch:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Just shared via TikTok:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Just shared via Facebook:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Is there a return policy on life choices? Asking for a friend. 🤔😂 #FreeWillFails"

choice, choices, decision, free, free will, here, humor, humor quote, i, irony, know, led, life, life choice, me, post, right, self-deprecating

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, expectation, firefighter, first week, going, humor, me, rescue, surprise, thinking, volunteer, week, where
I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, good, humor, i, intentions, me, motivation, procrastination, real, self-awareness, set
Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, humor, joke, May, me, money, month, next, wish
My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, favorite, favorite part, going, home, house, humor, irony, leaving, looking
Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

0

2 months ago

ability, asleep, fall, humor, moving, nap, never, sleep, travel, underestimate, vehicle
If I were an organ, I’d fail.

0

2 months ago

fail, humor, i, ID, organ, sarcasm, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Going viral on Threads:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Just shared via X:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Going viral on Slack:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Live now on Messenger:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨