Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,992

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Just landed via Threads:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Making waves on Instagram:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Going viral on Twitch:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳

amount, chore, funny observation, here, household, housemate, humor, i, laundry, live, living, living situation, met, mystery, observation, people, situation, starting, think, wash, washing, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

0

2 months ago

analogy, car, children, driving, emotional, emotional regulation, emotions, feelings, health, humor, mental, mental health, regulation, self-control, stuff, trunk, want
I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

0

2 months ago

childhood, fear, ghosts, humor, i, ID, kids, know, knowledge, little, never, parenting, something, supernatural, too
The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, comedy, drive, fitness, gym, hit, humor, i, laziness, motivation, only, procrastination, workout
Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

0

2 months ago

accounts, avoid, avoidance, dating, deactivation, girl, girl math, humor, math, media, only, person, relationship, social, social media
Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

0

4 months ago

decision making, girlhood, humor, media, none, only, patience, photo, photography, picture, pictures, post, posting, selfie, social, social media, taking
So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

0

2 months ago

birthday, boy, celebration, consequences, drinking, DUI, even, humor, irony, party, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

28 shares on YouTube this month:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Just shared via Slack:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Trending via WeChat:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Just shared via Facebook:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Spotted on WeChat:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Making waves on Threads:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Going bananas on Discord:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨