Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Spotted on X:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, I'm ready for an alien invasion with popcorn in hand. 👽🍿 Let's spice things up a bit before the apocalypse!

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

59 shares on Discord this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish more dumb people were shy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Trending via TikTok:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Going bananas on X:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Spotted on YouTube:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

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