Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.